Flames
by Hacked It Out and Fell
Summary: While on watch Lina sits reflecting her life. Just a short introspective from our favorite crimson eyed beauty. please R


Hi, just a short intrspective fic that came to mind oneday. Please read and review. Thanks!  
  
*Thingy that goes here saying I'm not making money or that I own Slayers*  
  
Flames  
  
Lina Inverse sat alone in the quiet of the night. Embers that give a soft glow were her only company as her companions slept. She turned and glanced at Gourry then Amelia, Zelgadis wasn't with them. He was off on his quest for a cure again. She sighed and poked the embers with a stick till they blazed to life again.   
  
Watching the flames consume the wood she thought about the way her fire spell had destroyed the inn they should be sleeping in tonight, not these dreary woods. "So I lost m temper again, so I blew part of the inn away. You would think people would just learn to leave me alone by now." She spoke softly to herself as she gave the fire more wood to burn. Her hand out drawing the energy to her. Reflecting on her life.   
  
'I'm like that flame, always burning, always hot and ready to ignite and burn all that come near it. People respect fire, they know they will be hurt by it. Then why won't they respect me? I'm just as dangerous, I'm just as damaging...I'm the Enemy of all Who Lives..." She let the energy go she had gathered into a glowing ball of red.   
  
'Why me, Why am I the one that has been chose to have so many adventures. Even when I was just a kid, my life was never simple. Luna the Cephied Knight....my sister..I wonder what it would have been like if I had never learned magic?' She shook her head, She couldn't even remember when she started to learn magic, it was just something that was always there.   
  
  
'If I hadn't left home, learned magic that was forbidden to me..would I have met everyone that I know, would the world even be here now. Oh I don't know..I don't want to think about these things..I never do..So why am I now." She looked up at her friends as the slept still. She was a loner she thought, a independent individual, she was lonely now without them near.   
  
'Damn it..why..why do I miss not having everyone around? I hated it when Gourry tagged along, I really didn't appreciate Amelia inviting herself to help spread justice. At least Zel never volunteered to come along. So why am I so lonely when they go their own way? Face it Lina, you lost that side of you that doesn't need anyone. Man.." She picked up another log and tossed it one to the flames, watching them grow higher. 'No..I get lonely without them, because they aren't afraid of me. Not afraid of, The Dramatta, the Dragon Spooker. I'm just Lina Inverse with them. Sure they tease me but we are just people when we are together. And we look out for each other..'   
  
Looking up at the stars she wondered where Zelgadis was, where Xellos was. They were the most private people she had traveled with but they were also the most powerful. She knew that Gourry still had to get a new sword, and that Amelia in time would be a strong shrine maiden. They were all still young and life ahead of them was an open book.   
  
Still she couldn't help but wonder about how long life like this would go on. 'Dark Star, Hell Master and Gavv..I have faced them all and lived through it. Shabernigdo, Rezo, Koppi Rezo, The Water Dragon King to the Clair Bible...was one person ever meanttoo have such knowledge and knowledge..The Lord of Nightmares..I was Her Avatar. Yet I still live, still struggle on and push forward..but for what..what more can I do in my life and will the next time something happen, will I live through it?'   
  
Shaking her head she reached out nearly touching the flames letting her finger stay there till the heat was too much...'Again I feel like these flames. Everything around me will be changed by my touch..Fire does damage, but through that damage some good does come..but just like with me no one ever remembers the good I have done, just the harm. I have saved the world, but no one cares..they just scream and want to kill the witch Lina Inverse. Why can't people just see me. I'm not so bad, I'm human just like everyone else. but..then if I were human, like everyone else..I wouldn't be Lina Inverse would I..'   
  
She got up and began to walk the outside of the camp, hating these nights she actually thought about things like this. She didn't like the feeling of being vulnerable, and thoughts like this made her feel that way. She wished the sun would rise, so they could hit the road and she could laugh and boast about being Lina Inverse, Sorcery Genius. She could be wild and free, not stuck here on watch, trapped in the emotions she hides.   
  
She walked past Gourry and notices how worn his armor was. 'Need to get him some new armor. He sure does treat it rough, but then again hanging with me doesn't give him much time to keep it shiny. Gourry, why do you stay with me...just once I would like to hear the real reason..why did you follow me into the Sea of Chaos..why did you stand with me against Dark Star..and I don't want to here you say it's because your my protector...I want to hear you tell me you stay because it's the fact you...Oh what am I doing? Lina Inverse snap out of it. Who are you kidding he wouldn't ever say anything like that. Shesh..' She blushed and walked away.   
  
Kneeling down she pulled the blanket over the sleeping Princess. She grinned hearing her mumble about Justice. "Oh Amelia your hopeless, you know that. You at least aren't as bad as the first time I met you. Your growing up and your going to be a great ruler one day. Still...why do you try to hide sometimes when you see me and your on official business..am I really that bad? Well..I guess I can be..but..it still hurts sometimes, but you won't ever know that will you..' She got up and walked back to the fire and sat watching the flames.   
  
'Well Lina, just a little while longer and the need for a fire will be gone..the flames extinguished. We will be on our way, traveling and wandering. Wild and free..I wonder what tomorrow will be like..only one way to know and that's to live long enough to find out' Poking the fire she pushed her thoughts away and began to fix breakfast. The worry and uncharacteristic concern vanished from her crimson eyes as Gourry stirred and began to wake. She smiled and pushed the doubt from her voice as she told him good morning. The red that began to color the sky of dawn only signaled another day for Lina Inverse. Sliding her mask back in place she took a breath and got ready to face the world again.   
  



End file.
